I feel so bad for neglecting my old blog on this website. So HERE I AM AGAIN!

I had a miscarriage last week I didn't want you guys to know this news...
Until i was strong enough to talk about it with you girls.

It was devastating to Armando and I when i found out a week ago. I lost the baby on August 10th. I've been crying a lot and i felt bad lying to you guys the past week. I felt i should tell, since i thought it'd help me not be so depressed.

I got my hopes up again about having another daughter/ or son that i would name Kimberly or Armando Jr.
If you have any questions post a reply to this post or send a private message. I'll try my best to reply as soon as i can.

i've been laying low at the apartment since i found out i'm pregnant again and because i have the worst morning sickness.
Armando is being a sweetheart though. he brings me water and some crackers and watches baby girl for me while i get up and take a shower to get myself going in the morning.

he really wants the baby to be a boy.
i'm hoping it is too. girls are a hand full!
and i love that he'll be named after Armando.
even though i really never usually like when people name their kids after themselves. since it's like the kid never gets their own identity.

i loved that show. it didn't make pregnancy look all glamorized like the celebrities make it look!
i really hope girls realize having a baby at such a young age is very hard! your forced to grow up in nine SHORT months.
that might seem SOOO long, but it's really not.

before i had Kaydence i was out with friends 24/7, spent money on clothes, make up and getting my nails done like crazy. but once i found out i was pregnant it was like my life stopped. my life was no longer just about ME, it was about my unborn child.

so Armando and i found a jobs and saved money like crazy.
since we didn't want to depend on our families for everything.
and we didn't really need there help much.

once Kaydence was born, my life was flipped upside down. i barely got any sleep the first couple months until she finally started sleeping through the night. it was (censor)going to school when i got only a couple hours of sleep.
but i did it, because i knew Kaydence's life would be so much better if i continued school and went to college afterward.

Armando lived with my parents and i the first couple months when Kaydence was very little. Since they thought we should learn how to take care of our child together. and not have all the work on me.

and now we're having another child in April. which is scaring us to death. since Kaydence isn't even one yet!
and we don't see how we'll take care of two babies. it's crazy, but we'll figure out away to make it work.

[Edited by: Moderator2]

i've posted this somewhere on my blog before about what i would name my second child.
Armando and I still agree on these names too.

if it's a boy- Armando Augustus Antonio N., Jr. [yes, he has a super long name]
if it's a girl- Kimberly Shay N.

i'm so nervous about having another baby. it makes me sick to think i've put my self in this position again!
i don't regret having Kaydence or being pregnant again. but i just feel so stupid!

even though my doctor has told me i'm at high risk for a miscarriage since i'm still young and am under so much stress with a daughter, school and normal every-day things.
our parents are extremely mad that we're keeping the baby. since they don't see how we'll take care of Kaydence and another child due in April!

my brothers are so disappointed in me. they love Kaydence to death but they think i'm choosing wrong decision after wrong decision.
and it's not like i'm intentionally getting pregnant.
it's just happening...



and Armando isn't helping. he's so stressed with the thought of another daughter or son in April.
he even said "i regret everything" to me one night which made me bust out in tears.

well the reason i haven't made a blog lately is because armando and i found out i'm pregnant AGAIN!
so we've been debating day & night if we should keep the baby.
i'm sorry i haven't updated in so long.
this crazy news has taken over our lives.

the wedding plans-
we're getting married in the same church his parents did in Florida next spring. but the wedding planning has been put on hold due to the pregnancy.

this is so hard for me to type. since i never thought this would happen AGAIN! Kaydence isn't even ONE YEARS OLD YETTT!
i'm just still trying to wrap my mind around everything.

Armando and I are going to Florida next Thursday.
Since we've finally gotten most of our apartment settled in.
And we're going down there to look at places to get married at next April.


Yeppp, we've picked the month... just not the date when we want to get married. I want to get married on the beach but Armando thinks it should be in a church and more of a traditional wedding.
So we're going to look at churches and then get rates from wedding planners on how much getting married on the beach would be.


I'm so excited! I didn't think it'd happen this fast.

i got in an accident with my baby girl in the car with me!!!
it was a side swipe but i still shook me up for a while.

Kaydence was crying her eyes out after the crash. I had to call Armando to come help me get the information from the guy i hit.
i'm so thankful that it wasn't worse and no one got hurt.

since my summer break has started...
ARMANDO AND I MOVED IN TOGETHER!
and i've been taking some classes online so that i can graduate super early next year!


but yeah, we are now happily moved in together.
we've just been super busy just trying to unpack everything and i've been taking care of Kaydence all by myself every-day from 8-7.
since Armando goes to work from 8-11 and then work from noon till 7.
so it's been pretty hard, but i'm toughing it out and just trying to do the best thing for my daughter.

sorry i haven't updated in so long.

this is actually the first time since my last blog that i've gotten to sit and relax. i had exam last week, and i passed them all!


also, Armando graduated today! i'm so proud of him! i cried my eyes out. i just wish he would've stayed here though, but he flew down to Florida tonight to see his mom and celebrate with his family and friends.
so he'll be gone for about a week.


i hate when he leaves. even if it is just for a few days. i miss him like crazy.

was amazing!
Armando gave me the most beautiful ring!
http://i39.tinypic.com/xat078.jpg

We went to the movies, went out to dinner and then came back home and played with Kaydence until it was her bed time.

I cried the minute i saw the ring he gave me. It's amazing! But it doesn't come close to the engagement ring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qj3nWy7HMs

i remember watching this music video when i first found out i was pregnant and i went to what i thought was an abortion website to give me information on what was going to happen if i did.
and it was actually a pro-life website and they had this music video playing on their website. and i'm glad i saw it. because it helped me realize what i should or shouldn't do with my unborn baby.

i'm very glad i kept my daughter. she's my everything. i can't even remember my life before her. it's like my life didn't start until i had her.

--
Edited by xxKiwi at May 27, 2009 8:10 PM CDT

yepp, this mama is turning 17!


i'm planning on going out to dinner with friends and then spending the rest of the night with Kaydence and Armando.
he supposedly has a really good present for me, according to his cousin.
so i guess i'll just have to wait a few more days to see what it is!

Armando and I ended our relationship. Well really it was him, since he wanted to go out and not help me with our child!
I'm hurt. Actually words can't describe how hurt i am.

We're trying to work things out with when he can come see Kaydence. Even though I'm utterly disgusted with him and don't want to see him anytime soon. But i'm going to do it for Kaydence.

She's a daddy's girl. Her little face lights up the minute she see's him or hears his voice. I just wish we could work everything out and be together again... but i honestly don't see how that will happen.

i've been soooo stressed about exams.
and when i came home today already frustrated, upset and stressed... and heard Kaydence crying in her room, and i just cried.
i honestly can't take it anymore!

i called Armando crying my eyes out, and asked him to come over and take Kaydence for a few hours so i could study.
so he came right over, talked to me a little and then took Kaydence to his cousins house with him.

i just want to lay in bed all day and forget about everything going on right now...
but of course that won't happen!