I really want to say yes, but with what I've been through recently I kind of can't. I'm one of those hopeless romantic types, you know the kind of girl that thinks she won't be truly happy until she finds that one true person. But I'm 15 and I've only just gotten my first kiss!

The thing is though... I really wish I hadn't got that kiss. The reason why is because the guy was paid to kiss me and he was going to be paid to ask me to do something else with him, if you know what I mean. If I said no he'd dump me, we were never even together though and he gave me someone else's number after asking me out, while if I said yes he'd do the thing with me but then still dump me. It was a big game to him and that really hurts. If you want to understand this whole thing better go here, http://writingsmylife.deviantart.com/journal/?offset=0 , and read entry 25 and 26.

I finally let myself cry about it on Monday while I was in the car waiting for my dad to get back after a doctor's appointment. I don't know what to do anymore. The guy I like doesn't like me back and now this has happened. I feel like I'm living in some teen soap opera like Degrassi the next generation.