soooo. on christmas day my dad tells me i can't go to the college i got in to and tells the entire family that i am childish to think otherwise. We get in the car and i ask him why i can't go and he flips out on me calling me out of my name and saying he's not going to pay for college when he doesn't pay for anything anyway! He always tries to make me feel bad about myself and ruins everything good. Why couldn't he wait until the day after christmas to tell me. It's so selfish of him to want to keep me here when i got into an ivy league!

So i've been sooo stressed applying to colleges and i need a break. The application process is sooo long and tedious and on top of that expensive. I'm pretty sure my personal statement sux and that im not going to any of the school i want. What if im stuck with my last choice because every other school i applied to rejected me!!! UGH!!

so ive never had a crush, ever and im soooooo woried that im not normal so something cause of it. I think some boys are cute but then i just forget about them a sec later when all my friends are boy crazy/ have boyfriends...ugh!!! Normal...or not..???

Omg, i am so pissed off at my mom right now. She is rediculous! she comes home super late and starts yelling and crying say i don't care about anything because i didn't take out the trash. She says "I just want you to care!! U don't care about me or this house, blah blah." Teens don't wanna take out the trash and wash dishes.

Last yr she and her friend beat me cause i didn't know how to make french fries. I mean wtf. she overreacts to everything, all the time. I am so sick of her whinning!

Ever feel like that dork that no one really wants to talk to but do anyway outta sympathy?

Well i have lately and i normally don't feel like that but it seems like every conversation involves a bunch of ppl i know that hung out the weekend before and didn't invite....it's all ive been thinking about. i feel like i don't even have a best friend, which would really help me, all i have are these kids that go to my school that i sit with at lunch.

Sould this kind of thing really bother me, or am i overreacting.

hey, so i hate that i have to go back to school tomorrow!!!! ugh!!! summer was waaaayyyy too short
i always feel crapy on school days too so im not looking foreward to that...i can't stand anyone there...besides the ppl i have learned to tolerate and call my "friends"
besides, all the hw drives me insane!!!! i need a new outlook on life this yr to get me through.

at least Gossip Girl and One tress hill come on tonite

hey so sunday is my birthday and im having this cookout...yay? i don't really like parties because i always feel left out...even if it's my party...weird ik. but lets hope this sunday is gonna be different because its my last birthday i will spend with my firends and family b/c next yr i'll be in college!! so yeah. i just want this to go well and get losts of presents like the selfish person i am



peace, love, and jonas <3

ok so today me and my friends went downtown to go school shopping and my two friends have been best friends since they were three and lately when im with them i get the feeling they aren't telling me stuff. They have these side conversations and don't include me and hardly even call me anymore. Today was so akward and i hate it because it never use to be like this. They get this short temper with me whenever i suggest something and we end up doing it anyway! Ugh! so annoying. What should i do? I still wanna be their friends

so i have a whole bunch of "secrets" that i can't tell anyone without being completely humiliated. i try to write them down, but i still feel guilty and i need to get them off my chest. have any sugestions?